Like many young boys my age in this African country, I grew up with a keen interest in soccer, which I played with passion. It was a sport that almost caused me to drop out of school, had my family not been so vigilant. As a result, I was able to complete my secondary education without too much difficulty, obtaining a high school diploma in natural sciences in 1999. I then went on to study for two years at university in Cameroon before leaving for higher education in Germany in December 2001.<\/p>\n
I grew up in a religious Christian family environment where Catholic rituals, celebrations, and symbols played an important role. Once I arrived in Germany and was freed from these family constraints, I became interested in several other religious, philosophical, and spiritual movements. I explored everything: African Bwiti, Buddhism, Islam, not to mention several Gnostic teachings. My thirst for the mystical and spiritual was insatiable. My interest in religious dogmatism waned. I began to question the Christian teachings I had received since childhood.<\/p>\n
Despite everything, my higher education went well. I obtained my engineering degree in less than five years, and a few weeks later found a well-paid job in a reputable firm. My thirst for the spiritual and mystical was far from being satisfied, so I tried several different things. I went from book to book. Any teaching that presented Man as the sole master of his destiny had a magnetic effect on me. It was obvious that I deserved the success I was experiencing; I had done everything right and was very intelligent. I attached no importance to those who saw any divine grace in this. I considered some of them to be lazy and incapable.<\/p>\n
I got married in 2010. Two beautiful children followed two years later. Everything was just perfect.<\/p>\n
\u00abYou'll wait seven years of marriage before singing the praises of marriage.\u00bb I've heard that before. I didn't believe it. And yet, there is some truth in that statement. After three years of marriage, two beautiful children, and a well-established career, my marriage fell apart. There's no need to go into details here. My whole world was falling apart. I was powerless to stop the destruction of my family life and the separation from my children, aged three and one and a half. The legal proceedings were ruinous. It was a free fall, a disillusionment.<\/p>\n
There was a high risk that I would not be able to recover financially from these costly legal proceedings, not to mention the upheaval caused by being separated from my children. I was losing everything I thought I had and everything I had built my present and future around. Death, I sometimes thought, was not the worst option.<\/p>\n
Over time, I realized how much my small successes had blinded me. I had strayed from what was essential.<\/p>\n
My only refuge became prayer. I turned to the Lord. While praying, I edified myself by reading the Bible. Certain stories, such as Joseph being sold by his brothers and Job being tested by God, restored my confidence.<\/p>\n
Never during this painful journey did I turn to the mystical and philosophical teachings that had interested me in the past. More than anything else, I sought a connection with God. It is the only thing that, in the face of the greatest difficulties, reassures and keeps the mind at peace.<\/p>\n
Fear and panic disappear once we connect with God's spirit. Experiencing God's presence calms, invigorates, and strengthens us. Trials can sometimes be steps along the way to remind us of our weaknesses, limitations, and shortcomings. Let us accept them and face them by clinging to the Lord, with Him in His full meaning.<\/p>\n
After four years of costly legal proceedings, my divorce was finalized, I was able to reestablish regular contact with my children, and I regained my balance in every way.<\/p>\n
God regained control over me; I was straying, blinded by small material successes.<\/p>\n
Everything may fall apart, but God remains God!<\/p>\n
Now, more than ever, I put the Lord at the center of everything.<\/p>\n
H. TSI<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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